My Sentiments Exactly!

Found this in my current reading and it struck me as profound truth:

"I seem to be declining with respect to my life and warmth in divine things; had not so free access to God in prayer as usual of late. Oh, that God would humble me deeply in the dust before Him! I deserve hell every day for not loving my Lord more, who has, I trust, loved me and given Himself for me. Every time I am enabled to exercise any grace renewedly, I am renewedly indebted to the God of all grace for special assistance. Where then is boasting? Surely it is excluded when we think how we are dependent on God for the being and every act of grace. Oh, if ever I get to heaven it will be becuase God wills, and nothing else; for I never did anything of myself but get away from God! My soul will be astonished at the unsearchable riches of divine grace when I arrive at the mansions, which the blessed Saviour is gone before to prepare"

David Brainerd, Thursday April 1, 1742 (from The Life and Diary of David Brainerd)